Wednesday, February 19, 2014
A Post Valentines Day Reflection
For two years in a row I have posted rather dismal posts for Valentines Day. This year is a little different because something amazing happened. No I did not meet someone, and I am definitely not in a chocolate, champagne and roses mood. Instead I received my first Valentines Day card from the Bumper, and this mother's heavy heart became a little lighter.
As adults we tend to make a big deal about whether or not we are with that special someone on Valentines Day. The Bumper reminded me that loves is not just romantic, it is also for friends and family. I am glad for the reminder.
I am truly happy for all of my friends who are in happy, loving, and committed relationships. I will admit, however that was very difficult this year for me to share in the happiness, and lovey dovey-ness . The popular images of the day includes, candlelit dinners, hearts and couples staring adoringly into each others eyes. For someone who was in the middle of a separation and who is now in mourning, these images can be hard to bear. Those images were particularly heart wrenching when I thought about what I wanted for my marriage and want I actually had. The posts of the last two years reflected that.
This year I did not think of what might have been, instead I allowed myself to be sad. I listened to some of our favorite love songs. I wept, then I smiled knowing the Bumper's dad is in no more pain.
When I went to pick up the Bumper from school my maudlin thoughts were dispelled by the sight of paper cut out hearts filled not with romantic sentiments, but childish innocence. The children's love was not limited but encompassed everything from Mommies and Daddies, pets, little brothers and sisters to grilled cheese sandwiches. I couldn't help grin. The Bumper's card for me hung underneath her name. On the outside it was covered in a mishmash of hearts on the inside in her teacher's handwriting it read: I love my mommy because she makes me hot dogs! I laughed right out loud. Such simplicity and generosity of spirit.
Later on the Bumper and I made a construction paper card for Nana. The Bumper's enthusiastic "Happy Valentines Day Nana!" could not have been more warmly received. I was reminded that love comes in many forms and is not limited to one day a year. Each and every day I get to spend with my family and friends IS Valentine's and and reason enough to celebrate no matter the date on the calender. It is time I remembered that God loves me and so does the Bumper.
For all of you who have someone to love:
Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Son , Daughter, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends Sweethearts, Husbands, and Wives. Cherish them each and every day. God Loves You.
For all of you who think you are alone: God Loves You Too.