Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Sorrow and Grattitude

Once again my world has been rocked by personal tragedy. A very dear friend of mine lost her eldest son. He was only 21. She is like an older sister to me, and I have known her son since he was six years old.  I am still in shock, all I can see is the little boy who solemnly told me the most important thing about going to school was remembering which bus to get on at the end of the day. Having recently lost my husband I know some of how she feels. I know the hurt and the grief all too well. I know about the questions that have no answers and guilt of overwhelming helplessness. My heart breaks for her and I say in all seriousness: I grieve with you.

Yet even still there are things I am grateful for.

1. Faith 
2. Because of what I have gone through I can reach out to others.
3. Sobriety - five years and counting, As much as I may want to dive into a bottle I know that will not solve anything. As tough as it is, as painful as mourning is; it is part of life.
4. Being able to feel. As much as I am hurting, because of the hurt, I know I am still living.
5. The support of family and friends during the past four months, which I hope I can now begin to return.
I will be back to more regular posting soon.


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