Wednesday, July 29, 2015

New Rule: No Hair Cuts Before Mom Has her Coffee

The Bumper cut her hair today and I am mad. I am crazy, sad, hurt frustrated mad, see red scream out loud so the neighbors cross to the other side of the street mad. I know she is only four and a half. I know it is only hair. I know it will grow back. I wish I could say I was the cool mom who took a sip of her coffee shrugged and said "Oh well, it will grow back. You cut it and now you have to live with it." Nope, not me, not by a long shot. I freaked out, lost it and went bonkers. I yelled at her, wanting to know why she would do such a thing. She said she wanted to be like her favorite Disney heroine, Mulan, who cuts her hair off  with a sword. I suppose I should be grateful she used scissors instead of a kitchen knife.

Here's the kicker though; yes I was upset because she lied to me when she got the scissors and told me she wanted to cut out paper shapes (she is allowed to do this) yes I was upset she disobeyed me because I have told her before not to cut her hair, but I was even more upset because she cut off all of her lovely baby curls. It is unreasonable and illogical, but it felt like a slap in the face. She looks so much like her father: his smile, his walk, his hair color. Everyone always comments on how she much she resembles him; except for the eyes-- she has my blue eyes, and the curls.

So when I saw her chopped off hair instead of a simple act off childish foolishness, I saw an act of defiance, rebellion and rejection of me. It hurt. A lot. When the Bumper saw the anger on my face, her eyes grew wide and she said in a small  voice "I did something bad didn't I?. I told her that yes she had. She did not say she was sorry, she said "I was wrong. Will you forgive me?"

How could I stay angry in the face of such a request? Especially when I think how often my Heavenly Father has forgiven me for my sins, for my disobedience, and my rebellion. I took my child in my arms and told her I still loved her and I did forgive her; but I was not going to take her to the hair shop, she would have to live with the haircut she gave herself. The Bumper asked me if her friends would laugh at her (and truly she does look a fright). I replied honestly that they probably would. She nodded once, squared her little shoulders, took my hand and set off for day camp.

Yeah I am still mad, but I am also proud that as little as she is, she is accepting the consequences for her actions. That is something some people never learn.

Now I am going to go knit to take the edge off.


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