It is Raining and I am Party Planning

 The picture is from September 2013, but the view today is exactly the same: cold and wet!

The Christmas rush is upon us and I am feeling stressed. Today is also the 1yr anniversary of my husband's funeral. It is raining just as it did on this day last year. I am trying not to dwell on it, but it is very hard. The Bumper's birthday is Saturday and we have a party to prepare for. Part of the stress I am feeling is unwittingly caused by the Bumper. She is old enough to tell me what she wants this year and in a word: Everything. Pretty much every toy she sees in the toy store she wants. This is a completely new experience for me. She has never asked, pointed out, or dragged me to what she wants before. Before now, I have been able to get by with telling her toys are only for birthday and Christmas. Well now her birthday and Christmas are finally here and she has a year's worth of pent up wants!

I have never planned a kids party before. I feel way out of my depth. I am not crafty and I am not very organized. We received an invitation to another little boy's party on the same day a month ago. His parents are hosting a party complete with a magician! That makes me want to stick my head under the covers. I wanted a small at home party with family, but circumstances being what they are that is not possible. So we are having an event rather than the small party I had hoped for. I wonder how I am going to convey my values of simplicity , warmth,  and family, when I don't seem to be able to live them? I certainly don't want to get caught up in trying to out do another parent!

Even though the venue is not what I wanted, I know the Bumper will have fun with her friends. Her Godmother is making the cake and her favorite babysitter has agreed to come even though he is sixteen. He has volunteered, or rather his mother volunteered him, to perform some card tricks for the kids. I over heard him telling the Bumper what he plans to wear ( a top hat and his band uniform), so I think he is secretly pleased to be doing this even though he pretends there are better things for him to do.

The Bumper and I are going to try an make a pinata for her birthday party-- I think I am going to need some extra prayers for patience!

Kim