Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Thoughts on Love and Marriage
M and I are redefining our relationship. Right now we are in a separation. We both have a lot of things we need to work through. Our relationship has been severely damaged. I left because I couldn't stand being abused verbally and emotionally. I know there are some in the Christian community who would say I have not given our marriage a chance, and that I should stay with my husband. This is something I struggle with daily. I wanted so much to be a Titus 2 woman, a Proverbs 31 wife and a keeper at home. I often second guess myself, but at the same time I know God did not create marriage for suffering and abuse. A marriage should be joyful -- not always happy -- but always loving. I believe in Biblical headship, I wanted my husband to be the head of our family and to lead us in prayer and faith and worship. BUT that is not the man I married. In my experience he asked for servility not submission, humiliation rather than humility. He even began to use my faith against me. I have my faults, make no mistake, I am a sinner redeemed by Christ and that does not mean I will not continue to stumble and fall during my walk with him. I take heart from second Timothy: 1:7.