Monday, February 20, 2012

Fear and Faith

Love shouldn't hurt. A person should never be afraid of his or her spouse. Well my husband has never hit me, but he has hurt me. He has made me feel small and unimportant. He has made me feel incompetent. The kicker is: I LET HIM!
I trusted him with my innermost thoughts, and feelings, and he turned them against me. I am trying to recover, but it is so very hard and I am scared. I am so fearful that I am unable to sleep at night. I am still very much afraid of my husband. My reaction to him at this weekend's visit showed me how much of my power I have given away.
When he left after visiting with our daughter, I was shaking and crying. He got so very angry at such a simple thing. He threw her stuff on the ground and called me a liar before getting into his car and driving away.
These are not the actions of a Christ centered man. I do not want my daughter growing up thinking that abusive behaviour is normal.

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